Not give and take — give and receive.

When my father passed away I recall a young man in our village knocking on my mother’s door and saying;

”Listen,Dorothy,I cut the the grass on the common ground every month so, if you like I’ll do yours as well ?”

When he was met with an awkward silence from my mother he added;

“Providing it’s alright with you” ,not wishing to impose or be presumptious.

“Yes that’s fine by me.” replied my mother knowing it had been one of my father’s jobs which she didn’t want to take on.

“How much do you charge for that ? “,she asked.

“No,no,he protested that wasn’t my intention,I don’t want any money for doing this”.

However ,as I or any of my family would have foreseen, she slipped a £10 note into his hand the first time he cut her grass.

He did try very hard to give it back but my mother could be very stubborn.

And from then on in she found a way of ensuring she gave him money for what was intended as a gift.

My mother could not receive.

My mother was incapable of writing a birthday or a Christmas gift list.

My mother would always give money to the homeless on the streets or any charity which came knocking at her…